Fettercairn 16yo
4th Release 2023 | 46% ABV
Score: 5/10
Average. In a good way.
TL;DR
Not quite a Joker, but hardly Batman either
Be yourself. Unless you can be Batman…
…in which case, be Batman.
Stephen Fry tells a funny story about being sat next to Paul McCartney at a funeral:
“After a couple of the hymns, which I was miming to because my voice is so terrible, he said to me, ‘You’re not singing, just sing – everyone can sing,’ so I did and he turned to me and said, ‘Shut up, you’re right, you really can’t sing!’"
I can sing, everyone that has working vocal chords can ‘sing’, but I do not possess a voice that warrants being put on record for posterity, nor for any paying public to appreciate. More’s the pity.
And don’t get me started on dance. Yes, anyone that can move can, technically, dance. But for the love of all things decent can we please leave it to people that actually have rhythm? I do have a point to make…
When it comes to hedonistic things, that which separates us from the animals, not everything or everyone can participate in all activities. And yes I get that one person’s Hockney is another person’s five year old scribbles; in the same way that jazz, to some, consists of several talented musicians tied in a giant sock whilst playing, then shaken vigorously. So I caveat what I am about to say with the reservation that one glove does not fit all.
Until the recent wave of new distilleries over the last 20 years or so, malt whisky distilleries were not making products to showcase their singular talents. And that is bar none. Not a single distillery was built to be a standalone ‘malt’ whisky distillery prior to 1995, and arguably later than that. So, bearing that in mind, it should be self-evident that not every distillery will shine as bright as some others when bottled as a standalone ‘single malt whisky’.
In Richard Grindal’s 1992 book “The Spirit of Whisky” he states:
“This… choice [of single malts] to the consumer sounds fine in principle, but people who know their Scotch would, if they were honest, agree that many of these malts, although more than acceptable in a blend, are not worth drinking as single malts. The judgement of whisky blenders who place single malt whiskies in classifications according to quality would be the most reliable guide, and I am sure that they must be surprised to find that some of the whiskies in the lower classifications are being bottled for sale.
“This does not mean that these whiskies are undrinkable, but merely that in the view of the experts they do not have the character, the flavour and the quality to be expected in a good single malt Scotch.”
Grindal, who worked for the Scotch Whisky Association for several years, could not have foreseen the whisky landscape that we know today.
Within ten years of his book being published the variety of malt whisky on offer would be tripled, and likely tripled again each decade afterwards. But his point is one to consider; many distilleries were making what was considered ‘tertiary whisky’, or 3rd tier to be vulgar, what we might class as ‘blending fodder’.
But even here we need to consider what and why malts were placed into tiers. The picture from the Wine & Spirit Journal in 1980 shows the opening prices (article left in as an interesting read) – a good year considering what was about to occur. Tiers were determined by price which was determined by demand and availability from preceding years.
Macallan, consistently one of the most sought after malts and often the highest priced, is at 107p per litre of alcohol (I know right, someone get me a converted DeLorean). There are a couple of malts higher, perhaps due to supply issues, and DCL’s (Diageo) requirements for their own stock but, and I’ll grant you there is not much gap between them, essentially Tier 1 malts are priced at 106+, Tier 2 are 105 and Tier 3 104 (Tomatin, being the cheapest at 103 should get its own article one day).
Taking into account what Grindal suggested in his book, and looking at the tier-by-price selection in 1980 we see, in today’s terms, a strange picture: Macduff is supposedly Tier 1 whilst Benromach is Tier 3? Pittyvaich, a by-word in the industry for poor output in the 1990s, is Tier 1 and somehow above Lochside? We see Braes of Glenlivet priced higher than Pulteney and Oban? I realise that we are not fully-informed about all of the conditions setting these prices, but my point is that we are looking at this from a completely different buying perspective to the buyers of 1980. In fact reading this now we are all forking out for Ladyburn, Ben Wyvis, Banff, Port Ellen etc – all of which, along with many others, would close before 1985 (interesting that Ladyburn was not in existence in 1980 – I have no explanation for its inclusion).
Frankly a longer article is probably required, but back to the point I am trying to make; the malts we have, built prior to 1995, were not meant to be in front of us in what were referred to as ‘selfies’ or ‘self-malts’; what we might now call proprietary, distillery or official bottlings. All, bar maybe Balmenach, are now available and most in abundance and variety.
It seems to me that there was no shame for blenders and buyers to have ‘tiered’ malts when buying for future blends and perhaps there should be no shame for us malt drinkers doing similar. We have our favourites after all? As Dougie Crystal’s piece about Jura informs us, it’s a common enough feeling that some malts just aren’t as punchy as others (of course he completely challenges this by bagging a stunning Cadenhead’s bottling of Jura, but let’s leave the maverick geniuses of the independent bottling world out of this).
No shame in Jura being considered 3rd Tier, the public have spoken. Yet it won’t stop Jura getting bottled and sold in massive quantities. It’s a bit like the mum who thinks her offspring’s singing is wonderful; she, like Jura owners Whyte & Mackay, are really the only ones who have convinced themselves of any real talent. Only this time the kid goes on to sell out a stadium tour (think Justin Bieber, or maybe Milli Vanilli as a better example).
Thankfully, there are so many singers, genres and tones to choose from, we can all gravitate to what makes us groove and be they 1st Tier, money-to-burn bottlings, or 3rd Tier, Clubcard cheapies, it doesn’t matter really. As was stated quite rightly in Monty Python’s “The Holy Grail”; “This is supposed to be a happy occasion. Let’s not bicker and argue about who killed who.”
And, it’s just occurred to me; who is Paul McCartney, hardly the doyen of singing, to tell someone else they can’t sing?
Review
Fettercairn 16yo, Official bottling, 4th Release, 2023, 46.4% ABV
£81.95 and still available
Score: 5/10
Average. In a good way.
TL;DR
Not quite a Joker, but hardly Batman either
Nose
It’s a little convoluted or congested on the nose at first. Some stewed fruits - a common whisky note - think cooking fruits prior to being added to something like a strudel (I’ve never cooked a strudel so am just hinting at what you might expect to smell if you were cooking the fruit for one).
The very top notes are of icing and just edging towards cooked bananas. Deeper in and some chocolate notes come through. Must admit that so far I would not have guessed port casks had been used in the maturation – but this is not a criticism. The nose is okay with me.
Nothing off-putting, which is always a fear with Fettercairn. With a bit of time we’re getting some mince pie-like spiciness (not to be confused by our international readers with a pie filled with minced beef; think of dried fruits, currants and Christmas spices) the longer I nose the more the mince pie theme is set in my mind. It is not overpowering and slowly the fortified wine notes begin to come through.
Palate
As is so often the case, the sweetness hits the palate first. Apparently we have a slightly greater tendency to taste sweet things on the tip or front of our tongue than we do for bitterness (and vice-versa). Around the sweetness there is a definite maltiness mixed with, again, that stewed fruit theme. Less than the nose suggests. The mince pie flavours are still there but a lot less of the spiciness or the pastry that the nose suggests.
Again I am lacking a huge hit of port notes, maybe to its detriment this time. The palate needs something to lead; it needs a captain. The flavours from the nose are there or thereabouts but it is a bit swampy and leads the aftertaste to be slightly wanting. It’s a murder-mystery but not just the last page has been torn out but as much as the last chapter is missing (go listen to Hancock’s Half Hour – showing my age here).
The finish is definitely more around the back of the tongue and as it is not salty or sour then it must be a bittersweetness (sometimes this is ideal) that remains.
By the way, when did it stop being called ‘Old Fettercairn’? Was this one of the changes in the 2011 revamp of labelling laws meaning brands had to stop referring to themselves as being ‘Finest Scotch Whisky’ etc?
The Dregs
In the 1989 epic “Batman” (and if you’re as old as me the best Tim Burton movie ever) the surgeon that reconstructs Jack Napier’s acid-burned face, turning him into the perennially-grinning Joker, states when waving at his bench of mediaeval surgical tools: “You see what I have to work with?” That is the overriding feeling when tasting this Fettercairn. It has never been a sought-after malt; not by blenders nor malt aficionados. It has gone through so many revamps, face-lifts and relaunches it could tour with Mötley Crüe. And I will not have it that this is so much as polishing a turd; think of it more as trying to find the right brand of make-up or, indeed, the surgeon just not having the right tools.
Whyte & Mackay’s entire stable has this issue. It’s a sort of swampiness – a melange, melee, a mix. It’s for those that eat the cookie dough but not the cookie: Jura, Tamnavulin, Fettercairn and Dalmore all suffer from this lack of punch; something to set them apart. Instead you drink it and just go ‘who are you?’ It needs to be, if not yelling or screaming at you, then raspy and confidently whispering to you “I’m Batman.” That is tough of course in this ocean of available whisky but without an emphasis on individuality the constant repackaging just smacks of missing the point. And some of it was dreadful; remember those tall bottles in the piano boxes?
The bottle is very nice; congrats on making it look good but it’s a shame that this has, likely, driven up the price to over £80. I feel the owners are keen for Jura and, to a much lesser extent, Tamnavulin to do the talking and walking in the supermarkets, placing Fettercairn to fill the gap behind Dalmore. But I also can’t help feeling that this range will similarly find its way to the supermarkets. It just doesn’t punch its weight. I can think of scores of similarly aged whiskies that are ahead of this Fettercairn; Benromach 15yo would be the first one to pop into my head if someone was asking for a recommendation; they’d save a few quid too.
But perhaps this is the best outcome considering the tools provided. Remembering that distilleries were built to provide blenders with ingredients; not to provide malt drinkers with singular drams. Perhaps I am being too hard on Fettercairn expecting it to be something it is not. Maybe it’s just never going to be a Bruce Wayne; capable of being two things, brilliantly.
Score: 5/10
Tried this? Share your thoughts in the comments below. FF
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