Dougie Crystal’s Blend | 56% ABV

Score: 7/10

**Very Good Indeed.**
***TL;DR***
*Blended by a buffoon, but delivers surprisingly.*

Always Listen to Instructions

The clock strikes 11am. You’re sitting inside a bright white room lined with glass ampules of amber liquid. Conical flasks, corked bottles and some odd looking lab equipment are dotted about the walls. Glass fronted cabinets, subtly lit from within make the amber capsules glow brightly.

It’s quiet. You’re deep inside the sanctum of whiskydom, having sailed across the open seas into Campbeltown harbour yesterday afternoon. You know for a fact that the eight test tubes stacked neatly in front of you contain quality whisky, and there’s nothing else in the world to do right now other than take those eight whiskies, assess them, decide what goes together and blend a whisky of your own.

The Cadenhead’s Creations Blending Lab Experience offers everyone willing to part with £100 and 2 hours the chance to manifest, from your wildest dreams, a whisky of your own. The concept is so exciting that it’s no wonder that some can’t help but go chargy-boombags, sipping quickly at all eight cask strength whiskies and find themselves completely mullered before 11:30am.

Having enjoyed this experience last year so much, we made sure that this year’s Whisky Dash 2024 included another Blending Lab Experience. We didn’t know what to expect and both my Uncle and I were blown away by the professionalism and setup that they’d only just completed. Our whiskies were a total surprise - I’d gone in thinking I’d blend a bright summertime session whisky, and came out with a dark prune of a winter sipper. Uncle came out with a ripping fireball of paint stripper.

This year we had game plans - Uncle decreed that his whisky was ruined by a big lump of grain whisky, and had he just gone with the other whisky he wished he’d used, it would’ve been saved. As a result this year he declared that grain was first on the hit list, to be cast into the ether before anything else began.

We were shown to our places by a new member of the team, Holly, who knew we’d been here last year and asked if wanted to get on with it or hear some instruction first. Knowing we’d likely stuff it up again, we asked for instruction.

We are here to blend our own 70cl bottle of unique whisky using the eight options available. 250ml is the most you can use from any of the eight options, and 50ml is the minimum. You can’t create a single cask whisky. There are no refills. Take your time. Don’t lose sight of the main goal: to make a whisky you want to drink.

Straight away we’re creating problems, because I would like my avatar and Dougie Crystal on the bottle like last year. That way I can review it. Uncle wants to put “Foosty Puddin” on his bottle and, for tax reasons, it must be an actual name. He protests that Dougie Crystal is a fabrication, but there we go - Holly’s patience is immediately tested. Eventually we work it out, emails are sent with avatars and we’re able to get on with the task at hand.

As this is unfolding I decant all 8 whiskies into the respective lettered Glencairns, taking care to decant just under half of the test tube into A through H - I reckon it’s 40-50ml in each tube, so 20ml or thereabouts. I want to get a good nose and swirl on, to try and gauge each one. Last year we had no clue what each was, but having had the results revealed to us post-blend, I had more information than last year. I knew last year the first three were sherry monsters, and this year it was the same.

The one that threw me last year was a zinger that I thought was a Kilkerran but turned out to be an Islay - shows how much I know, but that’s the point of this Blending Lab Experience. It’s to wrong foot you, and the complete lack of information on what we’re smelling and sipping is the only way to really put your preconceptions, judgments and expectations to the side.

Last year I ended up blending a sherry heavy whisky - A, B and C tubes were a 10yo PX, 10yo Port and a 16yoOloroso cask. I put 300ml of A and 200ml of C in my blend, with 50ml each of Port, Grain, Sauternes and Islay to make up the rest. A painterly approach, if that painter used almost every colour there is. I thought I was being clever.

This year I was keen to make a whisky that didn’t gravitate fully to the dark side, and fancied something of a more interesting sweetie of a whisky. What I thought I’d do last year, basically. I wrote down some notes on the underlying sheet of paper, gravitating quickly towards D, F and G.

Tube D was very bright and saucy, woody and varnish - something I align with grain whisky. Plus, it had a really lovely vanilla woody character that I thought resembled bourbon whiskey, and that seemed like a nice place to start.

Tube F was something I thought quite grainy too. But this had big oven chips, like the ones my gran used to give us in wee black cardboard tubs that you’d microwave to within an inch of its life, and spend the next hour scalding the roof of your mouth.

Tube G was a buttery popcorn melange, with salted popcorn pips. A really rich, salty buttery thing, savoury but not flattening or stagnant.

For completeness, I’d written that Tube A was creamy sherry - “big red”. Tube B was flat, savoury and “big hot spicy sherry”. Tube C was “Sherry Olo?”. Tube E I wrote “Speyside weird finish” and discarded it. I just don’t gravitate towards that Speyside character. Tube H was an Islay smoke monster and again discarded - I helpfully wrote “Peated Young.” for nose and “Young peated” for palate.

After a good half hour of sniffing and talking mince with Uncle, we got down to it - bringing the whiskies together inside our stemmed copita in their micro quantities, so that we could assess the blend and see if it’s what we wanted to create on a bigger scale. Last year I made two individual blends and chose the former of the two. This year I didn’t want to rush my decision and so, through using the provided beaker, the now empty Tube E Glencairn and the copita to create three slightly different blends.

In the end I went for the second of the three, which leaned more heavily into saucy Tube D more than the others. Declaring that I was ready, Holly appeared with a notepad to take my recipe. I began. “Ok, so I’ve went for 300ml of flask D please.” Uncle is incredulous. “We were told no more than 250ml!” and I’m thrown into the wind. I was absolutely telt, I’d ignored the simple instructions and now I was faced with choosing either to wing it and adjust on the fly what I was reducing/increasing in volume, or postpone this stage and retreat back to blending to rejig my recipe.

The only issue was I’d used up all of my test tubes of D, F and G. Holly stood, probably wondering how I’d made it through life thus far, and said that it was ok, I could use 300ml, but don’t do it again you simple boy. Eternally grateful not to have to perform rudimentary mathematics 8 drams in, I continued with my recipe: “300ml of F, 250ml of A,100ml of D and 50ml of G please…”

Flasks of glorious whisky were plonked on the desk and I got to work measuring them all out in the quantities I’d diligently decided were the winners. Uncle had finished his recipe too and began calling out his picks, opting for 200ml of A, 50ml of B, 100ml of C, 200ml of D and 150ml of G. As we poured the individual whiskies into the tall graduated flask the colour revealed itself in foaming deliciousness.

Mine looked deep, robust gold, and Uncle’s isn’t far behind. In fact, it’s remarkably similar in colour. Once we’ve finished filling the bottles, trying very hard not to spill any on the floor, the bottles are so close in tone I’m keen to avoid getting them mixed up. They’re each dipped in wax, stamped with a professional Cadenhead’s brass stamp and we’re led out to the Tasting Room to take on more whisky from the bar.

Holly appears a wee bit later with our bottles and stemmed “Perfect Measure” copita glasses wrapped nicely in tissue paper, and thanks us for an entertaining morning. I’m well on my way to sinking ships, so get some sandwiches ordered and more water in my face; the energy levels arrest their freefall and start stabilising once more. Once more we surveyed what was a fantastic, fun, interesting, unique and exploratory exercise to assess and mix whisky completely blind. It makes a mockery of your “expertise” and, taken in the spirit of the thing, makes for surprising results.

Review

A blend of 4 single cask whiskies, grain and malt. 56% ABV
£100 Cadenhead’s Creations Blending Lab Experience

Inside the bag that held our bottle and glass, is a gold envelope with a certificate of blending expertise, and a reveal of what each flask contained. We’re not told the distillery, only the cask type, age and region. I’m pleased that we don’t get told the distillery because it could disappoint you. “oh this is a rubbish distillery” or “if I’d known Springbank 28yo was in there, I’d have used all of that.”

The ingredients were as follows - spoiler alert! Only click if you want to know the ingredients.

A - Pedro Ximenez 10yo Highland
B - Port 10yo Speyside
C - Oloroso 16yo Highland
D - Grain 28yo Lowland
E - Sauternes 10yo Speyside
F - Rum 12yo Highland
G - Bourbon 12yo Speyside
H - Peat NAS Islay

In the end I’m really surprised by the massive quantity of Rum casked Highland I’ve used. After the Ardnamurchan Rum Cask Release and the flatness it brought to the show, I’d have thought that character would be something I’d avoid, but in this cask it brought some really interesting chip butty flavours. I liked it so much that I used 300ml of it!

A big dose of PX in my bottle too, again Highland and 250ml used. Then 100ml of Grain, 28 years old no less, and the popcorn butteriness of Speyside, despite my aversion to that character, made its way into my blend for the richness it might offer.

So there we have it. Generally we’re told by the powers at be that, if you are creating a blend, you might like to let it rest for a while to properly integrate itself. So just over 2 weeks later my whisky should now be completely melded together and rested. Time to get in about it.

Nose

Fresh Linen. Big woods - oak and cedar. Beer glass. Boiled Sweets. Mint humbugs - toffee chewy centre too. Pineapple tine. Very small lactic edge. Permanent marker.

Water opens up the flavours and offers a further vanilla creme brulee.

Palate

Toffee. Coffee. Zing. Rubber. Apple strudel - dusty icing sugar. Bread & butter pud. Chalky. Magazine. Ginger snaps or brandy snaps. Cedar.

Water brings a big gingerbread wave - wonderful! Some cola and a bit of sesame oil.

The Dregs

It’s a pretty flavourful dram! The nose is very interesting. At first it’s quite light - fresh linen, but soon makes way for big oaks to appear, before taking a tour around some things. Beer glass beside boiled sweets, big sweetness, some tropical things, even a bit of cheese appearing, before adding water to make it a burnt sugar sipper.

The palate is interesting too, with coffee and toffee at the offee, but zing and rubber follow soon after. There’s dusty icing sugar beside chalky magazines. Even the appearance of sesame oil. Water opens it up into a gingerbread fest and I’m loving the spicy sweetness.

Overall it’s a really surprising whisky. It’s not identifiably this or that or anything, which feels weird. Usually we can say something like “it’s a lot spicier than the typical distillery character” but here there is no “typical". It’s a whisky pulled from the ether. It doesn’t have a region or a focus enough to compare it to anything else. So I guess I can only compare it to my own blend last year.

Well, looking at last year’s review I decided not to review my bottle because, who am I? It’s like the master composer stating his newest piece is the best. There’s no objectivity. But is there room for objectivity to creep in here, given the array of whisky I’ve reviewed, assessed with intent or tried samples of these past 3 years? By now I should know roughly what makes a good whisky for me, and thus give it a reasonable score without prejudice, granted I blended it?

I think I can, because to be honest with you price doesn’t come into it. £100 for a NAS blended whisky is clearly no-dingo, for who would pay such a sum unless it was from a favoured distillery? So then it must come down to taste alone and I have to say I’m really enjoying this whisky. It’s not a sherry bomb and it’s not a rum monster either. It’s not bland or uniform, swaying through a wide range of interesting notes.

When all is said and done I’m just pleased it’s drinkable and engaging. I don’t find myself thinking about it like I do Glen Garioch, desperate to get it in the glass but trying desperately to not get it in the glass, because then it’ll disappear forever. I see it and think of my time with my Uncle in the lab, in the Tasting Room, in the Warehouse Tasting and sailing around the western isles of Scotland. The whisky is a 7/10, but the experience is, again, a 9/10.

Next year I’d love to see a mixup of the casks on offer, but I understand completely that Cadenhead’s must present the best spread of whisky for people coming to the experience anew, not returning customers. Next year it will likely be the same spread of casks on offer, and knowing this I wonder if I’ll be as pumped to try it again? Well, there’s room to create another whisky style for sure - a sherried peat monster maybe, or a grain heavy zinger.

Regardless of what we do next year, once more I’m left in awe of the Master Blenders who spend day in, day out making sure their whisky is consistently great. What a magic job they do. Thanks once again to Holly and Cameron for their kindness. See you next year!

Score: 7/10

Tried this? Share your thoughts in the comments below. DC

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